FogBlog

Absolute, utter bullshit, too. I can live with the “disclaimer” that the Discovery Channel put on tonight’s Stephen Hawking show (of the “views expressed are those of Stephen Hawking, not us, and he held a gun to our heads and forced us to air it!” variety). But there’s absolutely no excuse for the bullshit of their half-hour “postgame wrap-up” panel. Never mind that the ads for their “Curiousity” show read like a volume of “This Week in Woo,” but to deliberately skew the panel so that there’s only one real voice of unapologetic reason (Sean Carroll, you are my hero of the week!) is just plain sickening. For the record, Carroll did a good job of trying to put Hawking’s opinions into perspective (basically, he said nothing more than “No creator is required to explain the origins of the universe.” Duh.), but with everyone else voicing some version of “Hawking had no right to say that!” his message got a bit lost. Michio Kaku, some Christian astrophysicist, and a Vatican astronomer (though not the cool one from “Religulous”) also made brief appearances to muddy the waters. Add in a theologian and a fencesitter who does not wish to offend, and it was basically a chance to slag Hawking and bitch about how science is too big for its britches. Note to theologian: You’re trying to “save science?” That got the dishtowel thrown at the television by Mr. Brat. Bad enough that you completely ignored everything that anyone else said to smugly wax poetic about what you believe to be true, but the sheer arrogance of that one really got a reaction at my house.

And just as a side note: why is t that scientists are always supposed to be considerate and respectful of religion and respect these separate magisterial domains, but the theologians think nothing of trampling all over those same boundaries?  I will no longer feel a shred of guilt over that “Science: it works, bitches” T-shirt.

Not only that, but Hawking simply made an argument that I instinctively made as soon as I grasped the concept of the Big Bang as a kid…basically, if time starts at the Big Bang, there’s nothing before that, so causality is not required (or, more simply, no creator is needed). I would have liked him to make some better, more involved cosmological arguments against the need for a creator, but hey, it’s not my show. I stayed up late especially to watch it (I have my own personal reasons for wanting to watch Stephen Hawking, if you know me, you’ll understand), but the aftershow left a really nasty apologetic taste in my mouth.

So…Sean Carroll is full of win in SO many ways, Michio Kaku still annoys me, and Stephen Hawking doesn’t believe in God. And the Discovery Channel wussed out. Yup, no surprises.

I hate summer. I mean, I really, really HATE summer. It is a hundred degrees outside, and not much better inside. I’ve spent the whole day drafting a promo flyer that, for various reasons, is now only useful folded up and used as a coaster. The cat, normally a heat-seeking fuzzmissle, is sprawled on the stone hearth looking miserable.  My arms are stuck to the desk, and my hair is stuck to everything. Srsly…fuck this shit, bring on the snow:

Y’know, I’ve been sort of waiting to hear the explanation for the RaptureFail we had this weekend. As someone who is ineligible for any type of supernatural salvation, I was genuinely interested to hear the soothsayer’s explanation of the nonevent, and even more interested to glean his opinion of his terribly open-pocketed followers.

What I got was that it was an “invisible” rapture (O rly? can I write an “invisible” check to pay my credit cards?), and that the people who emptied their bank accounts, quit their jobs, and neglected their kids’ well-being should have sought qualified financial advice (or divine financial advice, I guess…personally, I would have suggested psychiatric advice). I also learned that mortal humans (soothsayers, presumably, included) can’t possibly understand the Bible, though it doesn’t seem to stop them from predicting the end of the world The world’s still ending on October 21, by the by. Again.

Gullibility Kills. I swear I am going to stencil that on my fucking car.

Does it all piss me off? Yeah. It’s a mix of emotions when something like this happens. Schadenfreude (bitch, please…you felt it too), pity (for the easily-led), lack of pity (for the easily-led who have willingly made themselves so), and sadness that there are just so damn many of them.

I’ll admit that I’ve never really understood the whole Rapture idea. You get whisked away to heaven to happily sit on a cloud and watch humanity (and, presumably, animals and plants) undergo pain and suffering.  I mean, that is one seriously fucked-up idea of paradise. I can’t think of a single sane, compassionate person who’d even be interested in this, never mind praying for it to happen as soon as possible. Moreover, I think it’s telling that no one thinks that the Rapture will happen in, say 500 or 1000 years. It HAS to happen during your lifetime, or else. I mean, being one of the elect just isn’t as much fun if you have to die first and sit around mouldering for hundreds of years before you finally get the goodies. Besides, it wouldn’t be as much fun watching strangers from the future suffer; you’d want it to be that atheist jackwagon who sits in the next cubicle, or your pantheist next-door neighbor who has some kind of heathen altar in the living room, or even the guy upstairs who plays his stereo too loud. It’s no fun being raptured unless you have a personal stake in the misery of the damned.

They think I’M twisted and sick?

And it’s depressing, because no one learned a damned thing. It’s all a paradigm that engenders irrational, magical thinking. We can easily discount the one-off whackjobs, but we still swallow the rest of it without ever ONCE wondering if maybe our own, safely “mainstream” beliefs are a bit…weird.

I dunno…I have precious little confidence in humans (and particularly Americans) to think rationally…or to even recognize that it’s an issue. Just once, I’d like to have a debate about religion that didn’t end with the other person citing faith and smiling smugly, because you really can’t make a rational argument against something that’s inherently irrational. To quote our old friend llt:

“Okay, if you get faith, then I get a fucking death ray.  ZAP! I win.”

If only.

So, a while back, I went to the local hardware store in search of a certain stain to match one I already had. I was armed with the color code, formula, and other pertinent information, but was informed by the hardware guy that the only place to get said brand of stain was now Mega-Lo hardware.  Since I really needed a perfect match, I asked if he’d mind me going to the mega-Lo to get the stain, and after an odd look, he indicated that 1.) I was weird; and 2.) It was just dandy with him if I went there for my stain.

It is with great trepidation that I go to any Mega-Lo store, be it Mega-Lo Hardware, Mega-Lo Office Supply, or Mega-Lo Organic. Every time I go into one, I come out in a rage over something. Usually, it’s the Mega-Lo Organic, and I get royally pissed off that an organic store, supposedly in the business of encouraging people to live a less-artificial life, carries almost no materials for making your own stuff. Yes, they want you to use organic cosmetics, but they want you to buy their ready-made products instead of making your own. There are next to no bottles, tins, and raw materials. It’s infuriating.

And the Mega-Lo Hardware is the same way. They run heartwarming adverts that show how they will help you do-it-yourself, but the second you deviate from their predetermined beaten path, you become the enemy. So, as long as I was there buying the stain that only they sell, I thought “Hey, maybe I can buy a ceiling tile.”

Yes, it IS an odd thought to have, but I am in the process of trying a sample piece of fiberoptic starfield to hang in the bedroom, and I need something to run the fiberoptic strands through to hold them. So I figured I’ll get a 2×2 acoustic ceiling tile, paint it black, and Bob’s your uncle. Well, you can’t buy just one tile, you have to buy the whole box. Okay, I understand that, they’re pretending to be a  wholesaler for dummies (once you’ve gotten used to buying wholesale, you see right through the ruse to the retail reality). But then I saw a single tile lying on the floor. On closer inspection, it appeared to have fallen out of a display, and had a badly dinged-up corner. I asked a salesperson if I could buy it, and he sent me to customer service. The two ladies at the Customer Service desk loved the fiberoptic idea, but weren’t sure how to sell just one damaged tile, so they called (I assume) The Wizard of Oz, who was hiding in an office somewhere, and who informed them that under no circumstances would the Mega-Lo Hardware allow me to buy a single damaged ceiling tile. Ever.  So, what I got from this exchange was as follows:

“WE WOULD RATHER THROW THIS AWAY THAN SELL IT TO YOU.”

Clear as a fucking bell, straight from the Wizard of Oz.

I feel valued, I tell you what. Now, my local hardware guy would have said “Hey, just take it, I’m just going to throw it out anyways,” knowing that I’d be back for the paint and framing materials for the finished panel. And then we would have argued that I wanted to pay for it, and he would have finally given up and rung up “Miscellaneous: $5.00,” and everyone would win.I get my tile, he gets $5 for his garbage, and the landfill gets less crap in it.

So, this morning, I called the local guy, who doesn’t sell ceiling tiles, but he’s going to ask a couple of guys that he knows and see if he can score me a piece of scrap tile. And laughing at my rant, he told me again how he appreciates my business. And he’ll have my paint and framing materials ready for me this afternoon.

So, that’s the state of modern Mega-Lo Business: “We would rather throw stuff away than sell it to you.” Fuck you,  Mega-Lo Hardware, and the lawn tractor you rode in on.